Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
