Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
