i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
i think my cat just said my name.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
