I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize