i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
