what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
