Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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