Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize