fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
