i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize