There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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