Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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