my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
don't judge my taste in strippers
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
