Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
