I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
