I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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