i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
