and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
