I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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