Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
