the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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