I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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