Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
