i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just invented taco cereal.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
