also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
