Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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