Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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