Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
