Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
