Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
