Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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