i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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