I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
