He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize