How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
