Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
