if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
