You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
