What did we do last night that was yellow?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
