I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
