Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
