ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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