after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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