Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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