Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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