i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
