just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize