How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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