I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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