I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
