Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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