I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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