I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
