i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
