It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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