You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
