oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she pinky promised me she was 18
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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