I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
