I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
