It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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