I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
