I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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