Screwed.edu
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
