Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
