they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
